Dart my eyes around the room again, for nearest exits
Brain jumping out of my skin
Calibrate the difference between
Only bad outcomes
Heart a mess of flailing limbs
And on nights like this
The bright lights hit just like fists
And I’m unwound again
I feel all impulses fall out of my control
Shaking like leaves
There’s dignity in shame
Knowing demons by their name
These desperate games
Our horizons are never far away, and aching waits
Restless sleep a next of kin
Calculate the distance in between all the nows and thens
Still a quiet nervous kid